Where to start? Barbie had been knocking around since the arse-end of the ‘Fifties in one perma-tanned form or other, but we’re most interested in the so-called “aspirational” late ‘Eighties when manufacturer Mattel realised they could sell the dolls as collectors items as well as mere playthings. ... more>>>

Developed in the late 1950s by Frenchman Arthur Granjean, the Etch-A-Sketch was first marketed as L’Ecran Magique (The Magic Screen). The toy hit the big time in ‘59 at the International Toy Fair held in - surely the world capital of all recreational fun - Nuremburg. Here it was snapped up by the Ohio Toy company and given the “ETCH … A … SKETCH!!” moniker that would later lend itself to a bafflingly catchy jingle. ... more>>>

This early learning toy was the delight of many an infant school kid mainly due to its simplicity, a highly tactile nature and the opportunity to make rude pictures when teachers weren’t looking. Available in a variety of themes, allowing depictions of any everyday scene from “farmyard” to “ballet”, the typical Fuzzy Felt set comprised a piece of card (about 10” by 6”) with a dark, coloured Velcro-esque material glued to it and a collection of brightly coloured felt shapes (children, birds, trees) to attach to this background. ... more>>>

For sheer too-excited-to-eat-breakfast thrills, you couldn’t beat tumbling down the stairs of a birthday morning to find a bloody big, rattly box of Technic LEGO waiting for you. Just pray it wasn’t a school day. The hours would just fly by as you knelt, elbow deep in the most advanced children’s construction set ever, replete with working piston engines, pneumatic hoists, chunky, steerable rubber wheels and – if you were lucky - a working motor. By evening, you’d be driving around a custom dune buggy fork lift truck some seven feet in length. Or so it seemed. ... more>>>

The official story peddled about this toy’s genesis is that four Japanese engineers were trying to solve the problem of creating a dustless chalkboard. Oh yeah? It’s called a pen and paper, lads. Or is that just too simple for you? Such a story is obviously an elaborate smokescreen for Tyco’s real motivation, which can be neatly summed up in the phrase “let’s get one up on those Etch-A-Sketch bastards”. ... more>>>

It’s a small wonder that Meccano isn’t massively popular with today’s generation of excessively pierced kids. What better way of expressing your “individuality” than to bolt primary-coloured flanged trunnions and angle girders to your face? We’ve seen no-less elaborate metalwork in student union refectories the length and breadth of Britain. Plus, with Meccano there’s the added advantage of being able to create a scale model of Big Ben when you get bored. ... more>>>

Out of any of the toys and games in our catalogue, this was probably the one that was most consistently denied us in our youth. Paradoxically, Mr Frosty is neither a toy nor a game. It’s just a thing we wanted, though it was very much situated somewhere within the last forty-or-so pages of Freemans, so it counts. The parental argument went something like this: it’ll join that collection of stuff you only use once and then leave in the back of the cupboard forever. This, of course, was completely correct (as anyone who’s ever owned a Soda Stream will be able to corroborate). ... more>>>

The origins of this wallpaper cleaner made good are documented in lumpen detail elsewhere (go on, Google it if you must, thicko). By far the most interesting fact about Play Doh, though, is that it was first manufactured by a company called Kutol Chemical Products – a name so redolent of industrial toxicity it wouldn’t sound out of place in one of those post-apocalyptic ‘70s BBC dramas like Survivors or Doomwatch. ... more>>>

Concealed inside a thin card wallet bearing the illustrative image of the professorial titular “uncle”, these budget-priced kits generally strove to adhere to the notorious adage about “making learning fun”, more often than not involving 3D plasticine pictures from Aesop’s Fables, or a selection of to-be-coloured-in fact sheets about dinosaurs. ... more>>>

Shrinky Dinks sat at the end of the hobby scale marked “high concept”. We can only imagine the phone call that took place when these puppies were pitched over the phone. (Alternatively, we could just bastardise the famous Bob Newhart “Walter Raleigh” monologue. Which is actually what we’re going to do. Here goes.) ... more>>>