Whilst the foreign car factories were laying off staff in favour of this toy’s older brothers, kids across the land were celebrating their new-found ability to move objects around the kitchen table by a mere complicated sequence of instructions input into the Armatron’s console. Of course, anything slightly more delicate than the plastic blocks included in the box (an egg, say) would break under pressure between the rubberised jaws, so any notions of performing David Banner-style laboratory experiments were soon similarly shattered. ... more>>>

Yer commoner garden Chemistry Set box lid always featured 12-year-old boy with brown hair in the pudding-bowl style, wearing a white lab coat and oversized safety goggles, peering intently at a few cubic centimetres of vaguely blue compound in a test tube. The over-serious look in his eyes said it all: “Why won’t this explode?” ... more>>>

200 in one! 150 in one! The not very catchy 65 in one! And 50 in one! The oscillator-obsessed cousin to the generic chemistry set, Electronic Project (a product from the on-its-sleeve-for-nerdiness named Science Fair) was a big box full of circuits, cables and dials that boasted anything from 50 to 200 possible projects for you to build, depending on how much cash mum and dad were willing to shell out. ... more>>>

One of those things an overtime-weary lab researcher possibly stumbled across by accident in some multi-national petro-chemical conglomerate, we reckon (see also Silly Putty and Slime). The basic premise rested on the implicit (and flawed) expectation that any child would be interested in watching small multicoloured stalagmites form as if by “magic” over a period of hours or, indeed, days inside a large liquid-filled glass bowl (or, more realistically in the Cream era child’s household, a Nescafe jar). As if that in itself were somehow edifying or educational. ... more>>>

Winner of the award for “Largest Disparity Between Portrayal In Advertising Materials And Reality”, it is with some pleasure we see these fishy fraudsters continue to be sold to this very day. Yet, who has ever owned a family? Far from the apparent hierarchical society of tiny grinning mermen and mermaids presented in illustrated form on the packaging, Sea Monkeys were, in fact, tiny - and we mean microscopic - crustaceans of the Artemia Salina family. Yet we were, as youngsters, encouraged to believe that they inhabited a mysterious world of sunken treasures, kings and queens, castles and adventure, in a brazen example of spin that should have surely invited the full punitive powers of the Advertising Standards Authority. (Actually, an episode of That’s Life was devoted to an expose!) ... more>>>

Shrinky Dinks sat at the end of the hobby scale marked “high concept”. We can only imagine the phone call that took place when these puppies were pitched over the phone. (Alternatively, we could just bastardise the famous Bob Newhart “Walter Raleigh” monologue. Which is actually what we’re going to do. Here goes.) ... more>>>

Most toys were no use to an only child. There’s not much mileage in playing Monopoly alone. Even games with no format, no rules and no board, the kind that challenged the imagination – “playing Action Man” for example – were more fun with two or more people involved. Precious few halcyon era toys were not only aimed squarely at the solitary child but also made absolutely no sense in company. Slime was one of ‘em. ... more>>>

There are exactly fourteen people in the UK who know this existed. They remember the telly ads featuring a lad spying on his family and neighbours from fifty feet across the garden. They remember the shape and size of the thing, something like a cross between a rifle and a trombone, fashioned in white and red plastic (and not to be confused with the U.S. “super” version, which parabolically anticipated Murdoch’s micro satellite dishes). What isn’t known is if anyone ever owned one. ... more>>>

It must’ve been tough for a grown-up with a genuine interest in astronomy but an income that could only support it on the never-never, having to flick through the kids’ pages of Kay’s to indulge their hobby. You can picture them skipping past the Spiderman suits, Wendy Houses, climbing frames and paddling pools in amongst the “outdoor activity” toys before finding the fishing rods, binoculars (and, sorry, Patrick Moore, a sturdy pair of binoculars simply isn’t good enough) and, ultimately, the page with the telescopes on it. Although, thinking about it, perhaps the catalogue people placed them there deliberately to effect a slight embarrassment; a fair indication of their associated nerdiness, perhaps? This is, after all, a hobby that numbers amongst its enthusiasts Curly from Coronation Street and Newsround stalwarts Reg Turnbull and Heather Couper (none of whom have ever received a particularly thorough scrubbing with the glamour flannel). ... more>>>