Military mannequin

There’s nothing wrong with boys playing with dolls!

But just in case there’s the slightest chance that doing so could turn ‘em a bit… y’know, make sure the dolls are butch soldier types who look good in a buzzcut and military uniform. So went the thinking, we assume, when Palitoy imported America’s GI Joe and rebranded him Action Man for Brit kids in the - ahem - swinging ’60s.

Initially available with only painted-on hair and combat fatigues, the range was soon augmented by a whole wardrobe of snazzy outfits (including frogman, para, pilot, sailor, traffic cop and red indian) and cybernetic extensions to Mr. Man’s physiognomy (“gripping” hands, “real” hair, “eagle” eyes). And, much like Barbie, the big fella got his own fleet of personal transports - although not for him the pink Limo treatment. Our favourite was actually the fairly unsophisticated, thumb-operated, backpack-copter (which enabled us to re-enact the best bit of Thunderball) although it must’ve been cool to have owned its full-size army hospital helicopter cousin. There were, we recall, two tank varieties (Scorpion and, erm, whatever the bigger one was called), a jeep or two, plus inflatable and outboard motor powered dinghies.

Frankly, there wasn’t anywhere our hero couldn’t go, except perhaps somewhere that required him to stand on his own two feet on an uneven surface such as a deep pile carpet or anywhere on grass. Basic instability problems could be avoided with the application of a child’s fertile imagination (which would require that members of the Grenadier Guards always adopt a laissez-faire, “leaning against a wall”, attitude to their sentry duties, or that the 21st Lancers conduct their parades lying down). In the ’70s, more poseable joints were added to the basic model, including one around the neck that enabled Action to adopt a “sniper” pose with one or more rifles from his impressive armoury.

Endless battles could be enacted with this almost limitless selection of plastic weaponry, in a war of attrition the ’80s superpowers would’ve boggled at (particularly given the unusual prospect of witnessing a fight between Talking Commando and Captain Zargon). Rumour has it that classic Dr Who adventure, The War Games, was written entirely whilst Patrick Troughton’s young sons were pitching German paratroopers into combat with the Queen’s Horse Guards. And although we know that nearly everybody owned one, the important thing is that everyone we knew wanted more. By virtue of the fact that the combined forces of our street could never amass a platoon of even Dad’s Army strength, Action Man remains on our wish list.

Further reading:
On Land, Sea and in the Air: Action Man by N.G. Taylor