May the toys be with you

So we’ll take it as read that everyone had at least one Star Wars figure, because otherwise this is just going to be an uphill struggle - the card-mounted Kenner character was the standard unit by which all collections were measured and/or founded, whether you owned just Luke Skywalker or a whole squadron of stormtroopers¹.

The fact of the matter is that entire 3,000 page catalogues have been published detailing the merchandising history of the Lucas franchise, but at least that leaves us free to skip to the top end (at least in our neighbourhood) of the desirability stakes and miss out the soap-on-a-rope C3POs, Leia earmuffs, Darth duvet covers, etc.

In reverse order, then, those toys that we all would’ve happily been born a spoiled only-child for (or that are still stored in airtight containers by over-zealous fanboys), wish-fulfilment lightsabre Photoshopping aside. We loved the “pipework” detail on those massive chunks of moulded beige or grey plastic that formed AT-ATs, the Millennium Falcon or TIE Fighters (especially the ones with “hidden” compartments or “secret” buttons that would make parts spring off), although the varying scales they were constructed to meant for confusingly-incorrect-perspective battles. Conjuring up a similarly surreal David and Goliath fight potential were the 12” figurines of popular baddies, Vader, Boba Fett and so on. These guys had an advantage over their more-miniature fellows (not just in terms of size), insofar as their clothes/capes weren’t fashioned from vinyl, they were more accurately detailed and their lightsabres, etc., need not be retracted into their arms. But for anything other than display-and-admire purposes they were pretty impractical.

By far the most coveted toy, however, was the cardboard-and-plastic hybrid that was the Death Star play set. Oh Death Star, how we desired thee. Shall we count the ways? The most thrilling parts of the film could be re-enacted with ease (from “TK-47” to “Run, Luke, run”). The seemingly-bottomless tractor beam control duct, rendered by simple means of a mirror at the base, was confirmed (as we suspected all along) to be slap-bang in the middle. And the working trash compactor even had the eye-on-a-stalk alien thingy drawn on it. In fact, the only thing really wrong about this Death Star is that it was way too cool and expensive for us to even consider returning to later, shooting a couple of plasma bolts at and destroying. If it had been down to us, the Rebellion would’ve been crushed just so we could carry on dropping Han Solo down the cellblock chute.

Further reading:
Star Wars: From Concept to Screen to Collectible by Stephen J. Sansweet, Steve Essig, is a good place to start. And, really, it’s a good place to end too. Seriously, just look at how many items are on sale on eBay. There’s no way of catching up now.