Balls

There can’t be many executive toys that were thought up by TV continuity announcers. Whither Paul “first on Four” Coia’s eight-ball decision maker, for example? Or Colin “Granadaland” Weston’s magnetic art sculptures? They don’t exist, of course, and quite rightly so because the notion of someone designing a desk-bound plaything whilst cueing up that night’s witty introduction spiel for Coronation Street is, frankly, ridiculous¹. Okay, these guys probably had a lot of time on their hands but, still… You’d probably do a crossword or read the TV Times, right? What you wouldn’t do is sit down and think “Ooh, today I’ll invent an iconic toy that demonstrates the principles behind one of the laws of motion”. Would you?

All of which rather begs the question, how to deal with Newton’s Cradle?

Enter, stage left, Simon Prebble, jobbing soap and rep actor, radio newsreader and, in 1967, designer of a classic swinging pendulum gizmo that would soon become very popular with American businessmen. Okay, so technically Prebble didn’t invent it. That honour goes to Sir Isaac Newton himself but, as we understand it, he spent his final years dodging an albino monk assasin from Opus Dei², so we have to credit our telly announcer friend with silverin’ up those balls and stringing ‘em on a frame some two and a half centuries later.

Harrod’s initially took on the task of flogging the toy but, without a huge marketing force behind it, sales were rather – ahem - lacking in momentum. Enter, stage right, actor, sculptor and future film director (The Gathering Storm, Brimstone And Treacle) Richard Loncraine who, together with business partner Peter Broxton, reworked Newton’s Cradle into an easily mass-produced stainless steel version. Suddenly, the nation’s CEOs were entranced by the back and forth motion of clacking chrome spheres and raced out to buy one. Meanwhile, kids at home were treated to an educational spin (well, more of a swing, naturally) courtesy of a John Noakes demo on Blue Peter; the programme featured the toy no less than three times in 1969. The equal and opposite reaction to all this media interest propelled Newton’s Cradle to the top of the best-sellers chart.

Soon enough the shops (and desktops) were packed full of superfluous ornaments based on other scientific principles; the amazing drinking/ducking glass bird thing, 3D pin art, and that bloody mug with the photo of Einstein sticking his tongue out on it. Yes, Mr Big Shot Boss, we see you have a sense of humour. Now stop playing with your balls and get some work done.