Scalextric
Slot machine
Here – in reverse order - are our top three spurious claims made about this, the self-proclaimed “most complete model motor racing system in the world”.
Number one; at least five Australians were admitted to casualty last year with Scalextric-related injuries. Oh really? What happened? Did they get their tongues caught in the slots? Confused by the 1/32 scale and tried to drive through “the Bush” on one? Suffered carpel tunnel syndrome from gripping the speed controllers too long? We’re guessing that, in common with all hospital-related horror story stats, the nationality of the unfortunate slot-car victims changes depending on where this oft-repeated tale is relayed. All it really tells us is that people love to hear anecdotal evidence that others are more stupid than them. And – come on – five isn’t a very high number is it? Out of a population of 20,579,913, it’s a pretty poor effort.
Number two; there are now more Scalextric sets sold each year to baby boomer adults trying to recapture their youth than to actual children. This little nugget comes courtesy of the BBC which, we can quite confidently claim, is unlikely to have carried out the research itself. Leaving aside the significant probability that this statistic was seeded by Scalextric’s marketing dept. to attract an untapped demographic, we ask: since when did kids go out and buy their own bloody presents anyway? Okay, there are probably more collectors than thrill-seeking brats these days; more permanent, loft-based circuits and chicanes than junior Spaghetti Junctions erected over the lounge floor. But “Parents in ‘purchasing children’s toys’ shame”? It must surely have been a slow news day.
Number three; if your holiday flight to Playa De Las Americas is delayed, it is probably because a team of overpaid lads’ mag journalists have built a Guinness Record-breaking Scalextric track on the runway and are busy spraying champagne around and snorting coke off Z-list celebrities’ arse-cracks. That, or some Top Gear presenter has chartered an Airbus to push a full-sized Formula One car out of the back to see if it will reach Scalextric’s measured “scale speed” of over 600mph, the idiotic, mid-life-crisis-gripped bigot. Okay, we might be exaggerating this one a bit but, all things considered, it was always your boorish future petrolheads that were attracted to Scalextric at the expense of more recreational pursuits. Show us the boy at seven, and we shall show you the boy-racer. Now who’s for a nice, gentle game of Turbo?
Steve
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Reader Comments (19)
My 'Scalextrics' was made by Matchbox and was called the 'Lane Changer' which as the name suggests allowed the cars to play chicken with each other by pressing a button on the top of the controller. Included also were chicanes and bridges and a booklet describing all the different track layouts that could be built.
Any mention of Scalextrics must also make mention of little pieces of emory paper used to clean the contacts to ensure that your car went as fast as possible (although one car ALWAYS went slightly faster than the other). Also that nostagic smell of burning 'sewing machine oil' when you held the car to the spot and revved it as hard as it would go.
Skid chicanes & changeover tracks (good to equalise the 2 lanes' running distance on ovals) would often cause the cars to collide & dramatically fly off the track if you were running close.
One set I had had a 180 deg banked corner at the end a long straight & a rev start, & if I was board I would get a car going flat out on the rev start, release it & it would do a spectacular sideways jump of the banking & perform a few end over end somersaults that most stunt supervisors would be proud of.
I'm proud/ashamed/boastful* (*delete as applicable) to say that I bought a Scalextric set proper as a student, to give myself an extra option of things to do in the evenings that weren't related to any sort of work. It was a fairly basic Fiesta XR2 racing set, but I bought some more cars, and some second-hand pieces of track to extend it. I also took the magnets off the bottom of the cars with a screwdriver, to create an element of skill, as you slung the cars' tails out round the bends, and endeavoured to find that fine line between a winning speed and a losing vault over the trackside crash barriers. Inevitably, the smell of burning controllers put paid to too much of this, but it was always fun, and could be guaranteed to attract a huge crowd of mates all willing to pit a Sierra RS500 against a BMW M3.
Personally, I think Scalextric was overrated. Give me a couple of matchbox cars and a home-made downhill raceway anyday.
American cop car and red/black sports car
Interchanging lanes for games of Chicken and a bridge to jump over and land on the opposite track and shout YEEEE HAWWWWWWW while your car is in the air...plus the bridge would tip over and the cop car would crash into it....AHHHH yessssss...good times
Does anybody out there still know of this 6 volt set, and/or does any person have spares, cars etc. Lets talk !!.
Have great day from Johannesburg, Sunny South Africa.
I got the Airfix racing set, which no-one else at school had (no being invited round to build mega-racetracks) and was fiddly to set up: little removeable and loseable copper tongues to ensure connectivity between each piece of track.
They did it by choosing "Betta Bilda " instead of Lego, too. The bricks had little grip, and made nothing much but 30's-40's houses (Ok, Bayko was even worse in that regard!)
I got mine for Christmas when I was about seven and, apparently, Santa set it up so it was ready for me to play on. I reckon he snuck a go or three on it first before he left, the rotund scamp.
I wanted the TCR system. You could change lanes anytime with that one. As an engineer I've devoted a lot of time into finding out how things work. TCD is still on my 'don't know' list.
again and again
It was a dodgy transformer
again and again
It was a dodgy transformer
again and again
It was a dodgy transformer
That cost three pound ten.....
As you can probably guess, I had one - and I ruined it by first trying to find out how it worked, then by adding small quantities of 3-in-1 oil to the motors, because it made them smoke when you ran them (and, ultimately, killed them stone dead).
Happy days...
It consisted of short yard-length bendy luminous tracks which were coupled together with short plastic slats. The top ends of the twin tracks were clamped to a table (or step-stool in my case) and the cars were let loose to freewheel. The cars raced downwards to ground level and carried on round a loop and on to the end of the track.
When such limited prospect for fun was exhausted, my brother and I used the track sections as floppy 'swords' to whack each other with, each trying to make our implements longer than the other before they limped uselessly and flopped to the floor.